Namely, a blind date.

On Valentines Day (VD).

With a Republican*.

As Fate would have it, six months later I did find my current boyfriend, thanks to Twitter.  We met each other by accident, bonding over Chuck Norris and Wu Tang jokes, waiting for a big speech at a conference.  (I know, we’re dorks.)

But back to the trainwreck.

So in Part 1 of my homage to Twitter and Valentines Day, I give you archived tweets of #GOPpickuplines:

nerdette: ok peeps, I need #GOPpickuplines Any ideas? and no, I’m not wearing red tonight on my bipartisan #blinddate.

10:15 AM February 14, 2009

readergirl: @nerdette “meghan mcain is an inspiration to me” #GOPpickuplines

10:46 AM February 14, 2009

nerdette: RT @roadkillrefugee that’s a lovely shade of Boehner make-up you’re wearing. Or is that Oompa Loompa? #GOPpickuplines

10:51 AM February 14, 2009

techherding: I’d cross the aisle to caucus with you… #GOPpickuplines

10:54 AM February 14, 2009

jackilugg: @nerdette If you don’t like your GOP #blinddate, say “I’m sorry. I am very serious about my commitment to True Love Waits.” #GOPpickuplines

10:56 AM February 14, 2009

nerdette: heh. RT @keithbooe “Is that a waterboard in your pocket, or are you just really happy to see me?”. #GOPpickuplines

10:56 AM February 14, 2009

nerdette: RT @keviano I can see Russia from my house, too! #GOPpickuplines

11:01 AM February 14, 2009

shayera: “You know, in this light, you look just like Nancy Reagan.” #GOPpickuplines

11:01 AM February 14, 2009

joeschmitt: Don’t worry, I’m only a FISCAL conservative. #GOPpickuplines

11:09 AM February 14, 2009

zainyk: @nerdette “i want you more than jeff gannon wants scotty mclellan” #GOPpickuplines

11:55 AM February 14, 2009

@joeschmitt Your pants are in serious need of deregulation. #GOPpickuplines

11:59 AM February 14, 2009

@readergirl if things go well:”You can be the plumber, I’ll be Watergate” #GOPpickuplines

06:37 PM February 14, 2009

*My blind date played one on twitter, anyhow.

I’m trying to piece together what I could find of my blind date – so bear with me – it might take me until Sunday to pull it all together.  And I am seriously going CSI on this archival effort.  Let this be a cautionary tale to everyone – ARCHIVE YOUR STUFF! You never know when you’ll want to look back on your personal inanity.

Let’s consider the facts:

- Of the NRCC’s “Young Guns” Program, their first listing of 13 candidates included only 1 woman.   Recently, Time Magazine also posted a list of “10 more Scott Browns”, featuring only 2 women.

- While the GOP is desperate to rebrand themselves as the party of more than just old White dudes, slapping a picture of Clara Barton on their homepage is not only too little, too late, it harkens back to a time when the Republican Party was, attitude-wise, a whole other ball of wax.

- The very recent Dailly Kos/Research 2000 poll of Republican voters revealed that, of the poll participants, a majority of men and women DO NOT think contraceptives should be outlawed, a majority of men and women DO NOT think birth control pills are a form of abortion, and a stunning 86% of respondents think women should work outside of the home.

- When interviewed about the potential of meeting Sarah Palin – Chris Wallace implied he hopes Palin will SIT IN HIS LAP.

So here’s some unsolicited advice to the RNC – though I’m not a Republican, the data would indicate that you might be further along in your recruitment goals if you would:

1) feature your current women candidates (besides Sarah Palin) a little more prominently when you do send out press releases,

2) promote policies that are reflective of the values of your own party – while Democrats point heavily to those in your party that are staunch pro-lifers, quite a few self-indentifying Republicans are ok with family planning and with women being an active part of the workforce.

3) get your news commentators to not make harassing statements on record.  Chris Wallace is a repeat offender.

Now pardon me while I laugh until I cry.

This post originally was going to skewer the time-honored tradition of objectifying women (which is does) but I couldn’t help soften at the sight of our current Miss America with stringy hair and braces.  Caressa, I confess, you are MY GAL.  You are proof that not all beauty pageant queens think they can see Russia from their house.

While I didn’t watch the competition (only noting it was going on after a few of you tweeted about it) it did remind me of the greatest pageant I had ever heard of.  The standard Miss America contest consists of the vanilla rounds of swimsuit, evening gown, talent competition and final interview, as well as vaseline on the gums and borderline bulimia.  Contestants do their best to be shiny, poised and fairly uncontroversial in opinion.  Unless you’re this hateful creature.

And while it does require some serious chops and mortification of the flesh to be a contender, it’s a literal cake walk compared to the Miss Navajo Pageant. While this competition has all the usual tenants of teaching young women poise, deportment and other vestigial traits, you also have to speak fluent Navajo, make a fire with sticks and flint, and butcher a sheep.  They even do a handy comparison between Miss Navajo and Miss America, in case you might be confused.

Yeah, you read that right.  Butcher livestock.

I guess we shouldn’t expect anything less from a fierce culture where women wear the pants. The Miss Navajo competition is more a deeply meaningful rite of passage and a way to maintain cultural traditions. (Really makes you question what kind of traditions the Miss America pageant articulates.  Worship of veneers?)  I also really dug this documentary because of one contestant – Crystal Fraizer – a huge tomboy, unabashed about her specialty in raising chickens.  If you ever get a chance to watch the Independent Lens documentary, she also is incredibly inspiring in her quiet conviction and pride about being a Navajo woman.

It’s trite, but I wish standard American culture, regardless of where your parents came from, would be more embracing of these types of traditions.  It is encouraging to see a more diverse cast of beauties (especially since I’m an ethnic and cultural hybrid myself.  Thank you, Tyra Banks.)  But seriously, can you see any of those skinny bitches butcher a sheep?  Hell no.

What use would they be in a zombie invasion?*

Also the great website on the Miss Navajo Pageant features a great fry bread recipe.  You haven’t lived if you haven’t tried fry bread.

*Yes, this is a non sequitur.  But usefulness in a zombie invasion is my new yardstick of utility.  You know you use it, too.

It’s actually not the spirit of the ad that’s ticking me off so much.  Yes, I’m a staunch pro-choice advocate.  Yes, I vote, support and on occasion work for Democrats.  I’m angry because Focus on the Family ruined a perfectly good non-political event.

You might wonder why a liberal-ish political hack (I’d like to call myself a campaign midwife) would like being in a place dominated by outsized egos, big belt buckles and the worship of pigskin.  Here’s why: being a Liberal in an ultra-red state is liberating. Why? You don’t have to talk about work.  And just like making small talk about the weather (no trivial matter in a state where a good downpour washes out bridges), EVERYONE talks football in Texas. I’ve seen total strangers bond in a moment at the grocery store because someone’s son was wearing a Tony Romo jersey.  My East Coast friends are stunned at the done-up ladies at the pharmacy, having a serious rehash of the game last night.  You can buy all forms of tshirts, beer koozies and tote bags in burnt orange with the Horns (University of Texas) at any local store or gas station.

Best of all, if you can speak rudimentary football, you can make instant friends.  It gives you something to bond over, something to kick around, something to smack talk about.  It is the common touchstone here in Texas.  And it’s not controversial in the way abortion, global warming, gun control, religion or race relations is.  Everyone is welcome in the Church of Football. It. Is. Awesome.

So while I already disliked Tebow for irrational reasons (adopting the Burnt Orange/ University of Texas partisanship), I also dislike Tebow for ruining a perfectly good Sunday.  I want to sit around, masquerade as one of WhoDat nation (due to physical proximity and natural support-the-underdog preferences), and eat nachos while watching Drew Brees’s sweet little butt knock the spit out of the Indianapolis Colts.  Tim Tebow, you little diva, you may not make it into the NFL and I don’t care what the story is about you and your mom.  That’s your business.  I just want to watch a good football game, get hammered and make out with my boyfriend.  If I wanted to go somewhere and be judged or have opinions rammed down my throat, I’d go to the Baptist church on the corner.  Butt out of my Superbowl Sunday.  And thank the little baby Jesus for the mute button on the remote.

Please consider joining me in the petitions out to protest Tim Tebow being a fricking drama queen.

Sign the act.ly petition via twitter.

68,609 other people signed this petition asking CBS to not air the ad.

Feminist Majority has a petition against the ad as well.

Also you can report the commercial as being in violation of FCC rules.

You have to go back a couple years, when Dr. Tiller was alive.  Two years ago, I found myself on the campaign trail, working for Hillary Clinton.  I spent most of 2008 on the road – 7 months for Clinton, 1 month for Obama – and the whole time I fought with my entire being to get a pro-choice Democrat elected.  In the 10 years I’ve spent working in campaigns, I have never taken such an emotional and physical beating.  I still listen to Clinton’s Glass Ceiling speech, and I still want to break things when I think of Sarah Palin trying to co-opt the spirit of that speech.  While I was thrilled to vote for President Obama, there will always be a persistent lump of pain, sadness and failure lodged in my memory.  It’s not ok to make racist or seemingly racist jokes or statements anymore, and that’s progress.  But make a sexist remark?  That’s still ok.  Threaten a women’s reproductive rights? Sure, use our rights like a football in Congress.

So how does this relate to Dr. Tiller?  When I read about Dr. Tiller’s murder, via twitter and new reports, a spark of rage woke up inside me.  I felt like the last 2 years had taken everything from me.  But the circumstances of this man’s murder – this father, grandfather, co-worker, friend and physician – were so offensive to me, I had to do something.  This time the rabble rousing was personal.  So I reached out on twitter and facebook, and a few hours later 100 people showed up.  Thousands of people did the same thing across the country.  Even though the circumstances were vile, I found my friends (my friends in real life, not just like-minded people) showing up, and lighting a candle.  And I remembered why I fell into the business of politics and campaigns.

I know there are millions of others out there that share my conviction – working on the political or legislative side, or on the front lines as women’s healthcare providers, as clinic escorts, as nurses and doctors.  We fight and take our knocks, but we still get up and keep fighting.  We fight because a woman’s choice to plan her pregnancies (including choosing to terminate a pregnancy) is still a PRIVATE matter, and IT’S STILL LEGAL.  We fight because honoring a spark of rage will sometimes lead you back to a place of renewal, back to your friends, back to yourself.  In a perfect world, Dr. Tiller would still be with us.  Since he’s not, I choose to honor his passing by working harder for a safer world for women.  And I am thankful for his inspiration, and that justice was served.

Please consider donating to those on the front-lines:

Planned Parenthood

The National Abortion Federation

NARAL Pro-choice America

In honor of me getting off my lazy mental-couch-potato butt (and with hopes that I will actually be more disciplined) I wanted to share five blogs I’ve come across that I lurve. I have a total fangirl-crush on these blogs – you won’t see “feminist” on the About page – but they’re the best type of third wave.  They’re what I’m beginning to call defacto feminists - they celebrate something unique, magically and sometimes catty about the woman experience.  And they define feminism and celebrate femininity in their own authentic voice.

I give you five My Gal Blogs of the week:

My Mom, The Style Icon Their style was born before we were, reads the tagline.

I love this blog for so many reason – the awesome, incredible style, the time-capsule magic, and the clear love that shines through each post.  It’s a heartwarming time sink, and it will force me to learn how to use my scanner.  Because my mom was a fricking fashionista.

Mrs. O Following the fashion of Mrs.O:

What and Whom she’s wearing.  I. LOVE. MICHELLE.  I would run off a cliff in flames if she told me to.  Happily, I can just read this blog and revel in her fabulosity on a daily basis.  The founder of the blog, Mary Tomer, also published a fantastic compilation book.  This site is absolutely addictive in their excellent coverage and generous pictures.  I really could look at pictures of Mrs. O all day long.

Ladies… One of the best sports blogs I’ve come across (I know, I’m not a sports buff but dear Goddess, HOW did I live before reading it?!)  I give you their About page:

Bookmarked!

Geek Girls Guide I found them yesterday

during the iTampon debacle.  I particularly love their Geek Chic of the Week feature.

Sarah Haskins on CurrentTV In a world dominated by male humor, Sarah Haskins is a goddess of comedy.

She does a monthly feature called Target Women which never ever fails to leave me in tears and giggles.  She expertly skewers mass media for attempting to reduce us down to mindless, empty consumers.  Who love yogurt.

Let me know who else you read – what are the fresh faces of the va-jay-jay blogopshere?  I’ll include your suggestions next week – hit me up in the comments.  And have a rockin’ weekend!

That’s right.

The unfortunate misnomer ranks up there with Crystal Pepsi, this political ad, and this racist nickname for a holiday party.

Granted, it was an excuse to laugh about being on the rag all day.  Trending topics included iTampon and a variety of other riffs, as well as major twitter smackdown on “lady-time” jokes.

As @irishgirl Meghan Wilker puts it,

… is the name iPad going to prevent me from buying this product? No. But it does tell me that it’s unlikely that any women were involved in the naming of this product. (My other favorite example of a product name I’m pretty sure no women weighed in on: the Ford Probe.)

She also calmly lays out one glaring pitfall of this marketing misfire. When it comes to consumer electronics,

we’re already buying and using them at nearly the same rate as our male counterparts.

The data backs her up in a big way.  Six years ago, blogs were already reporting that women consumers represented more than half of all electronic gadget and device owners.  In 2007, the Consumer Electronics Association reported that the trend was sharply increasing:

• women are the primary consumers when it comes to wireless gadgets and gizmos.
• women outspend men in electronics purchases US$55 billion to US$41 billion.
• women influence 90 percent of consumer electronics purchases.

Other facts of the she-conomy can be found here – and folks, we’re talking about trillions of consumer dollars. And not only are we major consumers of these products, when married, wives are increasingly making more of the total income in the household.

Sober market analysis aside, doesn’t anyone at Apple watch TV?  MadTV (not a paragon of social commentary) did a spoof about this very topic.  Out of touch much, dudes?

And to this guy, I say, actually we DO own the word pad.

And we also own:

• plug
• yeast
• cramps
• bosom
• bloat
• flow

also

• bitch (noun and verb)
• emotional (did you know estrogen is a more explosive hormone than testosterone? didja?)

and

• mother
• sister
• lover
• friend

You boys can share the last two with us.

And for the record, my boyfriend matches me toe-to-toe on the menstruation jokes. He is one of the only men I’ve ever known that will fearlessly make tampon jokes, and laugh.  So there are a few of you out there.

I’m just going to say it – I wasn’t surprised at the outcome.  Much like Dukakis and Kerry, Coakley didn’t do what campaigns should do between winning a primary and crushing a general election.  If you don’t believe me, just go to google and start reading.  The shorter version of how the campaign work slowed down can be found via kos and Marc Ambinder from The Atlantic.

Like the Lambeau Field incident during the Kerry campaign, Coakley flubbed a question about a Red Sox legend in a state that takes baseball as seriously as breathing.  All politics is local and don’t you dare try to run for office without knowing your home teams and your local heroes.  Was that the reason she lost? Of course not.  It was a symptom of a larger problem.

And no, I’m not trying to take a swipe at people working on the campaign, or those that volunteered and made calls.  Grieve over the loss, embrace how much you hate losing, and then figure out the next way you choose to volunteer.  Trust me, I have PTSD* from working on various *cough Hillary cough* campaigns.  But don’t – even for a moment – think this race has any implications beyond this special election.  You worked hard, so give yourself some time to rest and move on to the next battle.

My biggest worry is that tomorrow (and indeed, right now) the headlines trailing Coakley’s loss will beat the tired and not factual critique that women can’t win higher officer.  Fact is, this isn’t about women winning or losing.  This is about a candidate that didn’t work as hard as the other candidate – her gender has nothing to do with it.  Scott Brown wanted it more, worked harder, and was the challenger after the Democrats had a historic winning streak.  This Massachusetts race is similar to Chris Christie beating John Corzine in New Jersey.  And beyond that, any attempt to draw parallels is inaccurate.  It’s like having a sample size of 1 and saying you can predict the weather forever.  Forget it.

And if you’ll excuse me, I have to go figure out a way to keep myself from looking at the internet for 3 days.    Because my heart has had enough of a beating, and for me – I’d rather look at the next electoral horizon than attempt to read the tea leaves on an isolated skirmish.

*Note: I do not mean to be disrespectful to our soldiers or others that suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  While I experience it in a much, much milder form than people who lived through active combat, my friends will attest to the fact that talking to me about the 2008 Democratic Presidential primary is still a rough topic. Sometimes these losses will give you a permanent hairline trigger on a rage and sadness that will take a lifetime to forget.

What I found the most surprising was the dialogue I found on a thread from Hacker News.  Someone posted Simon Willison’s post, and the comments are an interesting mix.

petewarden (who I’m assuming is a dude) wrote:

“Here’s my practical problem with this:

- We’re missing out on 50% of the people who could be good engineers. Programming is a really effective tool for improving our world, so any waste of talent is a Bad Thing.

- Whatever the moral arguments, accepting go-go dancers at events sucks as a way to attract women into our world.”

Another commenter named seldo noted:

“…from a personal perspective, it makes the assumption that all the male coders in the room are straight, which is in some ways an even more insidious assumption.

You can look at the room and say “okay, sure, there are no women at this event”. You can’t do that with sexuality — but people do anyway.

(I feel I should note that this unfortunate, embarrassing incident aside, Yahoo is an incredibly, almost ridiculously gay-friendly place to work)”

This last comment is a perspective that isn’t pointed out nearly enough.

At the end of the day – and despite the outrage – I consider the Hack Girls kerfuffle a win for women developers, and women’s acceptance in the tech space more broadly.  Why?  Because some men in that space aren’t standing by and condoning it.

Don’t get me wrong – we’ve got a lot of ground to cover before we reach any sort of parity in that sphere.  But I find it enormously encouraging that men have publicly started to stand up for women in the tech space, and make it clear that they want more of us there with them.  It’s a clear demonstration that there are feminist hackers out there, and those feminists don’t have a va-jay-jay to stand up for us.

Which is pretty cool.

If you rub the robot's belly, a go-go dancer jumps out.

Last week, Yahoo sponsored an annual event in Taiwan called Hack Day 2009.   So a few things – first, you would think a global enterprise like Yahoo would be a little more discerning in their image, particularly at events they so heavily sponsor.  Second, with a woman CEO named Carol Bartz who’s a breast cancer survivor, what is Corporate HQ’s reaction?  According to this post by Simon Willison and a quick google search, nothing’s been said officially.

What’s even more interesting is that this is not some new PR blunder or an isolated event.  I found someone’s flickr feed from the 2008 Open Hack Day with evidence of women participants here, here and here.  Also, the go-go dancers/ strippers / scantily-clad-women were also there.  But instead of furry boots, they wore hot pants overalls.

So I ask you, what would Carol do?  I hope she and the rest of Yahoo figure out a way to exhibit some corporate leadership and stop allowing ridiculous “entertainment” to be a part of their annual event.  Thinking about the situation reversed, it’s just not pretty.

Please be sure to make your voice heard – a lot of action has happened on twitter, there’s a petition to @yahoo to condemn what happened, and of course there’s the good, old fashioned method of calling their Media Relations office at (408) 349-3300.

Update: Via Twitter, Yahoo tweeted:

“Hack Girls from Y!’s Taiwan event don’t reflect our values. Was inappropriate, we regret offending anyone. We’ll ensure won’t happen again.”

I love the internets.

*Thanks to @womenwhotech for bringing this to my attention.  The pic is a combo from Willison’s post and @womenwhotech’s Twitpic.